Well, it’s a week into 2019 and I’m just committing my resolutions
for the year to writing and public posting. Full transparency: I struggled a
bit this year formulating an attack plan because, frankly, I wasn’t feeling
motivated. I let myself down in some aspects of last year’s goals and have been
rather hard on myself, which might explain my lack of gusto as the New Year
kicked off. Last year, like the one before, I committed to an agenda of
resolutions. Here’s a recap and how I did with each:
Last year’s mind-related resolution was to read more than
last year by cutting out some TV hours. (Farewell, GOTHAM and MADAM SECRETARY…)
and—more importantly—to read more widely with a goal of branching out from
horror to include more literary fiction, mysteries, LGBT fiction, and at least
one non-fiction book that struck my fancy in my TBR pile.
How’d I do? Eh. I
maintained the reduction in television hours but didn’t quite read as much as I’d
hoped. I’m a slow reader and one who needs near-perfect conditions (i.e. quiet,
comfort, a cup of tea), which I recognize as a self-limiting behavior. Although
I matched my reading output of the year prior, I’d still only give myself a 5
out of 10.
My 2018 body-related resolutions were, first, to continue on
my then-current weight loss trajectory (I’d lost 50 pounds by year’s end) to lose
another fifty pounds and, second, to decrease my psychological reliance on
Starbucks coffee.
How’d I do? I
failed miserably. I never quite managed to recalibrate following Oprah’s
tinkering with the Weight Watchers’ successful SmartPoints program by adding
the nonsensical “freestyle” element. The result: I re-gained forty of the fifty
pounds lost in 2017. Yep—and I’m as addicted as ever to Starbucks lattes and
their cursed egg/bacon/gouda breakfast sandwich. Epic fail on my 2018 body
goals.
Lastly, with regard to my soul/spirit-related goals from
last year, I’d committed to two resolutions. The first was to continue to build
on the momentum I’d gained in 2017 with my writing. The second, coming on the
heels of my 365 days of gratitude social media postings, was to seek out
something that inspired me every day in 2018—a quote, a piece of art, a person,
a place, a photograph, a book or film, a historical figure, a motivational
article, a clever meme, a current events story reported in the media—and post
it to Facebook each day. The idea was to refocus my perspective on all the
inspiring people, places, and things that surround me and use those as
inspiration to be the best possible version of myself and motivation to do the
work required to do so.
How’d I do? Happy
to say that I did far better with this last set of resolutions than I did with
those in either the mind or body categories. The daily inspiration postings
were completed—365 of them in all, one for every day of the year. While I don’t
think they resonated as meaningfully as the previous year’s gratitude postings,
I think I inspired myself and others on occasion. Or at least gave us all something
inspirational to chew on.
I continued to write up a storm, with two pieces published
this year—one a historical-horror reimagining of the last night of Judy Garland’s
life called “The London Encounter” which was published in a hefty and wildly
entertaining anthology titled Fantastic Tales of Terror: History’s Darkest Secrets edited by Eugene Johnson, the
second a non-fiction piece called “What Came First: The Monster or the Plot? In
Conversation with Stephen Graham Jones” which found a home in the second book
in a series of how-to guides for new and established authors titled It's Alive: Bringing Your Nightmares to Life
edited by Joe Mynhardt and Eugene Johnson. I can’t say enough nice things about
working with both of these editors or Crystal Lake Publishing, the outfit that
published both books. I was also asked by Lambda Literary to contribute a piece
on queer book to film horror adaptations. The result: “Five UnconventionalQueer Horror Films to Fright and Delight this Halloween.”
And although I didn’t make headway with either of my two
novels-in-progress, I stuck to my resolution and wrote my ass off. In addition
to a few additional short stories, I also made significant progress on
something I’ve been keeping under wraps—a poetry collection. Yep, you heard me
correctly. Back in 2015, I relocated to the state of Michigan for a year with
my fiancé, Brian. While there, I challenged myself to start reading more poetry
and then I started to intensively study and work within the form. Surprisingly,
a collection of decidedly horror-themed verse has emerged. I’ve literally only
showed it to one beta reader—a dear friend and colleague who’s very
well-respected within the horror writing community—and she went crazy over it. Her
generous and enthusiastic feedback has now energized me to finish it and find
it a fitting home…
…which leads me to my resolutions for 2019. I’ll start the
mind/body/spirit sequence in reverse this time. This year, I’m borrowing a tip
from the nuns who used to teach me back in my parochial elementary school days:
KISS. Keep it simple, stupid.
I. Soul (Spirit)
My priority this year with regard to my writing is to finish
that aforementioned poetry collection and find it a fitting home. I’m also
resolving to finish a handful of unfinished short stories and find homes for
the ones I completed last year. One has already been submitted to a very cool
themed anthology.
I’m going to eschew a “theme” this year and forgo any kind
of numbered daily posts. I was grateful, I was inspired…and now I’m tired. To
be honest, 730 consecutive days of prescribed posting was a worthwhile exercise
in self-discipline and now it’s time to apply that same level of
self-discipline to other areas of my life, including my writing.
Toward the end of 2018, I engaged in this cool little
exercise called a “reverse Advent calendar” during which I added a food item each
day during Advent to a holiday basket for those in need. At the end of the
cycle, I brought the non-perishable items to a local food pantry. In 2019, I’m
going to try and be more generous and giving in general. I’m setting a goal of
performing at least one charitable act each month.
II: Body
It’s simple: I need to eat less and move more. Period. No
excuses, no blaming Oprah. Where there is a will, there is a way. Oh—and there’s
that group cruise to Bermuda in early May to provide some extra motivation.
I’ve rejoined Weight Watchers and will commit to weighing in every week. I’m
also going to strive for one positive diet and/or fitness action per day—might be
as simple as this past Saturday when I skipped the Starbucks. Speaking of
which, yes, I’d like to break the coffee chain’s hold over me but I know that denial
has never worked for me. That feeling of depravation builds and builds and I
crash hard with a relapse that’s worse than the habit. So I’m going to try
gradually cutting back when my stamina is strong (like I did on Saturday). On
days when I succumb to the lure of the latte, I’ll count it in my daily points and
work it into the program. As far as a weight loss goal? I’m going to shoot for
60 pounds by year’s end—the 40 that I regained plus an extra 20 for this year.
III: Mind
Included back in the 2017 slate of resolutions was a goal
to limit my news sources, filtering out biased sources in favor of more
unbiased, legitimate sources. I did this successfully but, sadly, much of the
rest of society has only dug deeper into their partisan holes. To that extent,
I’m going to drastically limit political postings to my Facebook wall and try
to refrain from commenting on political threads elsewhere. I’ll likely limit
those political posts I do make to the upcoming primary season as various candidates
throw their hats into the proverbial ring. These are conversations worth
having, in my humble opinion.
Above all else, I’m going to resolve—mind, body, and spirit—to
practice more self-love this year. I’m going to try to do things for myself
that bring me enjoyment, satisfaction, and contribute to my inner peace.
Because, in the immortal words of one RuPaul Charles, “If you can’t love yourself,
how in the hell are you going to love anybody else?”
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