'Self' Progress: First-Quarter Report

Those of you who follow me on social media know that every year—at least for the past few years—I compose an annual New Year’s themed blog post in which I lay out my resolutions for the coming year. Why do I do this? Mainly, to hold myself accountable in the public square. I’ve learned over the years that resolutions kept to oneself are easier to take shortcuts around, gloss over, or just conveniently forget altogether. Each year, I establish at least three goals, laid out within the holistic framework of mind, body, and soul. This year’s post can be found here.

For this year’s mind-centric resolution, I set out to drastically limit political postings to my Facebook wall and have tried to refrain from commenting on political threads elsewhere. Three months in to 2019, and I’d deem progress on this goal well underway. One scroll through my social media feeds and you’ll see a tremendous (dare I say, “bigly”?) reduction in the number of posts about our current administration. Yes, there are a few—times when I simply can’t contain the myriad thoughts that pour out of my mind onto the keyboard, times when I feel like I really have something of value to add to the conversation. And, yes, I’ve succumbed to the demonic pull of commenting on others’ political posts on occasion, try as I might not to. But, overall, vast improvement noted in this area. I’ve also continued the strides made in the year-prior’s slate of resolutions, continuing to limit my news sources, filtering out biased sources in favor of more unbiased, legitimate ones.

After tanking both of my 2018 body-related resolutions—re-gaining forty of the fifty pounds lost in 2017 and failing miserably to decrease my psychological reliance on Starbucks coffee—I’m proud to say that Stella’s got her groove back in this area. After a shaky start in January, I’ve now dramatically decreased my Starbucks consumption—the iced Cinnamon Dolce latte and accursed bacon, egg, and gouda breakfast sandwich were my mainstays—to once per week, down from daily. I went cold turkey, suffered through the psychological withdrawal and am now no longer dependent on that daily fix. In addition, after failing last year to recalibrate following Oprah’s tinkering with the Weight Watchers’ successful SmartPoints program by adding the nonsensical “freestyle” element, I’ve finally found my way through the program’s changes and lost just over 15 pounds over this first quarter (and, really, more like since the middle of February when I finally re-grouped enough and got serious). That puts me at 25% of my 60-pound year-end goal—exactly where I should be. More than enough to declare first-quarter success on my “body” goals for 2019!

Lastly, regarding those soul/spirit-centric goals I’ve set for myself in 2019, I’m also off to a solid start there as well. I’ve already accomplished my priority this year: Completion of my first poetry collection(!). While it resides with a select handful of beta readers who I trust to offer unflinching feedback, I will next begin to scout out an appropriate publishing home for it. I will now commence completion of that handful of unfinished short stories I mentioned in my New Year’s post and find fitting homes for those while I await word on the one that was submitted to a very cool themed anthology earlier in the year. I also set out to perform more acts of kindness this year, with a goal of performing one random act of charity/kindness per month. Although the acts have been small, I’ve kept kindness on my mind through the first three months of the year—and will continue to do so. Good progress on the “soul” goals!

So, enough about me. How are YOU doing on your goals for 2019?

Truth, Consequences, and Duck Calls

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Own Your Inner Homophobe

Michele Bachmann is, quite simply, a twat of exponential proportion. Now, before the feminists go wild, I mean that in the British sense of a derogatory insult, a pejorative meaning a fool, synonymous with the word twit and not the more vulgar euphemism for a certain part of the female anatomy. And she is. And I challenge anyone to argue the point.

All one had to do was watch Bachmann’s little performance on Sunday’s Meet the Press, during which she evaded nearly every direct question on LGBT issues raised by host David Gregory, to fully grasp this concept. Repeating what must be the new Republican mantra of “I am running for the presidency of the United States” over and over again like a stoned Stepford wife in answer to almost every question posed by the journalist, Bachmann came across looking like a bona fide caricature of America’s other favorite conservative sound bite whore, Sarah (“I can see Russia from my house!”) Palin.

But, please, don’t take my liberal-leaning word for it. Watch for yourself:



Now, setting aside for a moment the contemptibility of the few comments she did make and what her refusal to answer specific questions communicated, it’s her caginess that really irks me. Listen, if you are going to be a bigoted, gay-hating, homophobic hypocrite with a closet-case husband who runs a clinic that engages in conversion therapy (and accepts government dollars to do it), then (wo)man-up and own it. Don’t sit there with that smug little plastic grin on your face and pretend you’re getting one over on the American people – well, at least the ones with an ounce of critical thinking skills. Sadly, there will undoubtedly be a handful of supporters (from the Westboro Baptist Church, no doubt) who will buy into her shtick, but the majority of conservatives must have winced during that segment of Sunday’s show. Seriously, while I’m tickled as pink as Sherlock from The Magic Garden that someone as outrageously inept as Bachmann has sashayed onto the national stage in her Manolo Blahniks, you got to ask yourself: Is this really the best that the Republican Party has to offer?

And, just so there are no claims of partisanship on my part levied, I’ll go on record as saying this tendency of our politicos – regardless of their party affiliation – to dodge, hedge, and sidestep questions has risen to the level of an art form and needs to stop. We need to demand real answers to our real questions. Journalists need to practice journalism again and not worry about incurring future favor with the public relations machines that bring guests – and thereby ratings – to their shows. Media outlets need to worry less about making journalism sexy and bring back hard-hitting investigative reporting. Most importantly, we, as news consumers, need to stop accepting the journalistic drek that we’re fed through the mainstream network news outlets.

As for Bachmann, we needn’t worry. Even with the shortcomings of modern journalism, you can smell the excrement of her message from a mile away wearing nose plugs. Her campaign will implode once hubby Marcus is caught in a public restroom sting or the photos of him and one of his rentboy travel companions come to light or – as they always do. Or she’ll choke on her next corndog and no one at the state fair will know the Heimlich Maneuver.

Either way, this woman will never make it near the White House. Count on it.

Corndoggin' with the Bachmann's

Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words.

Real Monsters

Please take a moment and read my friend Michael Rowe's disturbing piece at Huffington Post yesterday on two California morning radio hosts and their reprehensible tirade on transgendered children during which they advocate violence against children with gender identity issues. I'm hard pressed to believe that no matter where people fall on the issue, that anyone - liberal or conservative - would condone or not be outraged by this.

From Tips-Q:

"In a lengthy May 28th tirade on the "Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning" radio show heard in Sacramento, California on KRXQ 98.5 FM and Reno, Nevada on KDOT 104.5 FM, hosts Rob Williams and Arnie States verbally attacked transgender children. While discussing a recent story about a transgender child in Omaha, Nebraska and her parents’ decision to support her transition, the two hosts spent more than 30 minutes explicitly promoting child abuse of and making cruel, dehumanizing and defamatory comments toward transgender children.
You can listen to the entire segment beginning at 4:48 by clicking this link.

Among the comments made by the hosts:

ROB WILLIAMS [11:12]: This is a weird person who is demanding attention. And when it’s a child, all it takes is a hug, maybe some tough love or anything in between. When your little boy said, ‘Mommy, I want to walk around in a dress.’ You tell them no cause that’s not what boys do. But that’s not what we’re doing in this culture.

ARNIE STATES [13:27]: If my son, God forbid, if my son put on a pair of high heels, I would probably hit him with one of my shoes. I would throw a shoe at him. Because you know what? Boys don’t wear high heels. And in my house, they definitely don’t wear high heels.

ROB WILLIAMS [17:45]: Dawn, they are freaks. They are abnormal. Not because they’re girls trapped in boys bodies but because they have a mental disorder that needs to be somehow gotten out of them. That’s where therapy could help them.

ROB WILLIAMS [18:15]: Or because they were molested. You know a lot of times these transgenders were molested. And you need to work with them on that. The point is you don’t allow the behavior. You cure the cause!

ARNIE STATES [21:30]: You got a boy saying, ‘I wanna wear dresses.’ I’m going to look at him and go, ‘You know what? You’re a little idiot! You little dumbass! Look, you are a boy! Boys don’t wear dresses.’

ARNIE STATES [29:22]: You know, my favorite part about hearing these stories about the kids in high school, who the entire high school caters around, lets the boy wear the dress. I look forward to when they go out into society and society beats them down. And they end up in therapy.

To her credit, co-host Dawn Rossi stood up to Williams and States during the segment.Despite her apparent lack of familiarity with transgender issues, Rossi repeatedly defended transgender people and made an on-air apology for her colleagues’ defamatory remarks.

Take action now! Please contact KRXQ management in Sacramento, California, where the show is produced and demand that radio show hosts Rob Williams and Arnie States publicly apologize. Call on KRXQ to hold Williams and States accountable for their remarks and establish clear standards to ensure their media platform will not be used to condone or promote violence against any parts of the communities they serve.

John Geary
Vice President & General Manager
KRXQ-FM
(916) 339-4209
jgeary@entercom.com

Arnie States
On Air Personality
KRXQ-FM
(916) 334-7777
rad@robarnieanddawn.com

Rob Williams
On Air Personality
KRXQ-FM
(916) 334-7777
rwilliams@entercom.com

Please forward this link to any of your friends and others who may also wish to take action. When contacting KRXQ, please ensure that your emails and phone calls are civil and respectful and do not engage in any kind of name-calling or abusive behavior."

LGBT Writers Respond to Prop 8

California's Proposition 8, the controversial anti-gay-marriage measure that was fought furiously on both sides for several months and included Tricycle Press's children's book King & King as a negative spin in supporters' TV commercials, won a stunning victory on November 4 in the state's election. Gay writers responded to the win with outrage, concern and heartbreak.

Read more about what John Rechy, Christopher Rice, and Dorothy Allison had to say at Publishers Weekly Online, in an article by Wendy Werris.

An Open Letter from Katherine V. Forrest (Distributed by the Lambda Literary Foundation):

Yesterday was just a very difficult day. Such gladness over Obama and all he symbolizes, watching the national euphoria. And yet the sharp slap in the face that none of it includes us. Yet again the line is drawn through us; we're left to peer in the window. This time it seems a much worse feeling, at least for me, because I'd let down my guard and stopped steeling myself, for the first time I'd let myself hope.

We will win this of course. We actually won it in 2003 with the most important civil rights decision of my lifetime, the Supreme Court's 6-3 Lawrence vs. Texas decision that struck down sodomy laws under the equal protection clause. I've always known that the continuing hodgepodge of discriminatory state laws and the opposition by the single most legitimizing agent for the prejudice against us – the churches – would eventually land us back at the Court. Where we will then be accorded – under the same clause – the final and definitive decision that will end the practice of putting our lives on a ballot for a majority to decide.

I'm getting over the personal stuff, I feel a little better today and have more perspective. In order to get this thing passed in California, they had to argue that we already had rights as Domestic Partners. How big a concession is THAT, given where we were a decade ago? The fact is, except for our losses, the right wing got their heads handed to them on Tuesday. Gay people were voted into office all across the country. All the abortion crap got voted down, it's no longer a viable political issue, it's dead, dead, dead, folks. Assisted suicide was passed in Washington State, stem cell research will happen, the Supreme Court appointments are ours for hopefully the next eight years. Their right wing VP candidate became a figure of national scorn, the religious right as a political power has been left where it belongs, on the margins.

So good things are happening. We are the great unfinished business of this nation, and it will indeed get finished. I trust it will hurry along because I ain't gettin' any younger. Now that I've lived to see a black president, I want to see it all. As a friend of ours in Australia emailed yesterday, "Whilst a black President is certainly a good thing, let me know when the President is a black lesbian...."

Here's to the bright future.

Katherine

The Sad Irony of Election Day

It’s ironic that on the same day one civil rights group realized victory another was defeated by bigotry, fear, and intolerance.

It’s ironic that on the same day America finally laid to rest its deeply-rooted fears and prejudices as they relate to the color of their neighbor’s skin, millions of Americans in California, Arizona, Florida, and Arkansas voted to legislate discrimination. Disheartening that on the day we elevated an African-American man to the highest office in the country, we allowed the same majority to shit on the civil rights of another minority.

It’s demoralizing that a majority of voters – at least those in California, Arizona, Florida, and Arkansas – still feel that tax-paying GLBT citizens are somehow “less than.”

It’s business as usual in the US of A — same righteous bullies, different minority target. Same bus, just a different group being told to sit in the back.

This “victory” was spearheaded by the National Organization for Marriage, a well-oiled propaganda machine that preyed upon people’s fears and insecurities in the month’s leading up to Tuesday’s election. And while the national eye was on a different ball – the economy, the war in Iraq – this group took full advantage to organize and pass what amounts to legal discrimination based on their thinly-veiled faith-based philosophies and ideologies. The religious definition of marriage is now civil law in California, Arizona, and Florida.

So much for separation of church and state.

Their cause seems predicated on the faith-based idea that inclusion of gay civil marriages somehow erodes the foundation of families and poses harm to children. And while the “The Threat to Marriage” tab on their national website doesn’t say what the actual threat is, their “Why Marriage Matters” tab presents a list of talking points via downloadable PDF documents arranged by religious denomination. Clue #1. The gist of these talking points are unsustainable “facts” that speak to the favorability of children being raised by one mother and one father, yet do not address any specific studies that show children in GLBT households at any kind of disadvantage.

Finally, under the organization’s “Marriage Talking Points” tab, we find out what all the brouhaha is about.

What’s the harm from same-sex marriage? [or] “How can Adam and Steve hurt your marriage?”

A: “Who gets harmed? The people of this state who lose our right to define marriage as the union of husband and wife, that’s who. That is just not right.”

A: “If courts rule that same-sex marriage is a civil right, then, people like you and me who believe children need moms and dads will be treated like bigots and racists.”

A: “Religious groups like Catholic Charities or the Salvation Army may lose their tax exemptions, or be denied the use of parks and other public facilities, unless they endorse gay marriage."

A: “Public schools will teach young children that two men being intimate are just the same as a husband and wife, even when it comes to raising kids.”

A: “When the idea that children need moms and dads get legally stigmatized as bigotry, the job of parents and faith communities trying to transmit a marriage culture to their kids is going to get a lot harder.”

A: “One thing is for sure: The people of this state will lose our right to keep marriage as the union of a husband and wife. That’s not right.”

You’re shaking your heads right now. I’m kidding, right? Not only am I not kidding, millions of Californians, Floridians, and Arizonians bought into this rhetoric. And voted. Love and commitment between two people lost in the name of fear and ignorance.

I can’t even begin to ponder the inanity of the Arkansas vote that bans GLBT couples from adopting or caring for foster children — a vote that clearly says children are better off getting tossed around foster care systems than in a loving home with a committed gay or lesbian couple. One can only hope that there’s some foster kid who was in the middle of being adopted by a gay couple when this piece of legislative garbage got passed who will someday sue the Arkansas government for denying him or her a loving family.

Congratulations, America. You let fear win out even in the midst of your great courage.

What She Said...

Nearly 24 hours after the annoucement that Barack Obama had been elected the first African-American President of the United States, I'm still speechless. I'm still trying to untangle the myriad emotions that have taken hold of me at this magnificent, hopeful crossroads in our nation's history. There's a bit of a black cloud tempering my joy – but more about that tomorrow. This is about celebrating the fact that this great country of ours rose above and opted for change – bravely, with no guarantees.

Last night, over on her blog at the Huffington Post, Jamie Lee Curtis expressed all that I'm feeling and more. And she said it with far more eloquence than I'm capable of today. I hope you'll take a moment to read what she has to say to President-elect Obama.

An excerpt:

"Thank you for reminding us that this next period of time will be hard. That there are no easy answers. That there will be sacrifice. There will be blood. There will be sweat. There will be tears."

An Alternate View...

Joke of the Day...

Let's skip right to the punchline:

Log Cabin Republicans.

They endorse the McCain/Palin ticket and end up revealing their own self-hatred and personifying internal homophobia as a result.

Call Elton John. Call Melissa Etheridge. I demand that their membership cards be revoked!

Immediately.

Governor Palin...Meet the Little Girl Who Lost Her Laugh

This election season, listen carefully and think long and hard before casting your vote. And if you're one of those people inclined to vote based on a single, self-centered interest like the price of gas or tax cuts, err on the side of innocence and remember little girls (and boys) like the one you're about to meet.

Author and former actress Meg Tilly shares a letter from Dr. Astrid Heppenstall Heger on her blog:

"Maria had driven to Tijuana with her mom, sister and little brother to buy a special dress for her aunt's wedding. This was the most beautiful dress she had ever owned—no the most beautiful thing she had ever seen—and she hung it on a nail pounded into the wall of a garage in Bell Gardens that they called home. Every Sunday she tried on the dress, anxious for the time to pass when she could wear it to be in the wedding. But this past Sunday the dress had become too small, her mother could not fasten the small white buttons. Her mother rushed her to the emergency room fearing the worst—cancer.

I was summoned to the Emergency room to evaluate Maria. She was sitting in the corner of the windowless exam room with tears running down her face. Her mother had fled the room leaving her to fend for herself. A tiny 10 year old, she looked much younger than her age, and now dressed in a too-big dress handed down to her and wearing black Mary-Jane shoes and bright white socks she looked translucent—a shadow of the girl that might have been.

At age 10 she had just been told that she was pregnant. Pregnant by her father who had been raping her for over two years. We spoke and I comforted her. On examination, we found her to be 16 weeks pregnant, and because she was so small her womb was now pushing down her vagina making intercourse impossible so her father had been raping her anally. Her sister when asked about whether the little brother had been sexually abused, said 'No, he still laughs.'

So last night when the Republicans welcomed with thundering applause a woman who believes that all abortions must be outlawed, my heart stopped in my chest at the very idea that we as a Nation would ever consider taking away the rights of women and children—my patients—raped, abused and violated in the most horrific ways. How careless we are with the lives and souls of those who are less fortunate.

I am moved to tears at the thought of the precipice that we are approaching. I could spend hours on poverty, loss of the medical class, no health care, etc. But sitting there that day in that stark, cold clinic room with a little girl whose only hope for survival was an abortion, I was glad to have that option. Of course I would love to see a time come when everyone knew to practice abstinence, or even birth control, or a time when rape and incest were words we did not understand and women had the right to say no and have someone hear her, but apparently none of these words—abstinence, birth control, rape or incest—has penetrated the isolated, cold world of Governor Palin.

Tell me where to go to be heard. I cannot believe that women across this country—who understand what violence against women and children really means—will not stand up to be counted."

Astrid Heppenstall Heger, M.D.
Executive Director
Violence Intervention Program
1721 Griffin Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90031

Courting the Gay Vote

Senators Clinton and Obama want your vote – the gay vote.

Both openly courted the gay vote during the much-ballyhooed Democratic debate held last August on the Logo channel. Most of us were so excited that the Democratic candidates were engaging in a debate all about us and our issues that we glossed over the fact that said debate well preceded the actual kick-off of their public campaigns and was buried on a late summer night at 9:00 pm on an obscure cable channel. A few mere crumbs of AP sound bites.

Since the great gay debate, both candidates continue to express their support of the GLBT community – when pressed. Senator Clinton has graced a few GLBT blogs with her promises of not leaving us behind; Senator Obama has been less visible in our territory, but says all the right things when asked directly. The glaring strike against the good Senator – one that makes him disingenuous to one of the two groups he’s courting - is his public misfire in hooking up with some notorious homophobes (who, among other things, publicly equate gays to murderers and prostitutes) during a three-day, gospel music campaign tour through South Carolina last fall. Be mindful of the company you’re keeping, Senator.

Yet with the well-oiled Clinton political machine falling further and further behind the Kennedy-esque mania swelling up around Obama (face it folks, with Oprah Winfrey and George Clooney onboard the Obama train, it’s looking like the last stop for Clinton), I figured it was time to learn a little bit more about the charismatic and seemingly articulate Illinois congressman who just may be the Democratic nominee. It’ll be a cold day in hell before I ever cast my vote for a Republican like McCain or Huckabee, so it’s the Democratic nominee by default. At this point in the process, I simply want to see if it’s by happy default or reluctant default.

Visits to both Clinton’s and Obama’s official websites – essentially, virtual calling cards in this age of electronic communication – yielded something I wasn’t prepared for: the conspicuous absence of the words gay or lesbian.

Hmm. Can’t be, I thought to myself as I scrolled through page after virtual page. There were position statements on myriad issues – sadly, not one of them was my issue.

For those curious about Senator Clinton’s views, she offers her official stance on the following on her website:

• Strengthening the Middle Class
• Providing Affordable and Accessible Health Care
• Ending the War in Iraq
• Promoting Energy Independence and Fighting Global Warming
• Improving Our Schools
• Fulfilling Our Promises to Veterans
• Supporting Parents and Caring for Children
• Restoring America's Standing in the World
• Championing Women
• Comprehensive Government Reform
• Strengthening Our Democracy
• Reforming Our Immigration System
• An Innovation Agenda
• Creating Opportunity for Rural America
  

Huh? OK...

Obama offers supporters and those on the proverbial fence an even wider-ranging litany of position statements on his official website:

• Civil Rights
• The Economy
• Disabilities
• Education
• Energy & Environment
• Ethics
• Faith
• Family
• Fiscal
• Foreign Policy
• Health Care
• Homeland Security
• Immigration
• Iraq
• Poverty
• Rural
• Service
• Seniors & Social Security
• Technology
• Veterans

Alright, I’m thinking. Civil rights. GLBT issues must be mentioned here. Nope. The closest Obama comes to a stance on GLBT rights is a blurb about his commitment to hate crimes legislation, but falls short of using the actual words gay or lesbian. In fairness, the Obama website does have a search engine that will lead one to some speeches he’s made in which he addresses GLBT issues – hidden out of sight, but there. Clinton doesn’t even have that.

So there you have it. Two Democratic candidates actively courting our votes and happily accepting donations from our highly expendable incomes – yet neither willing to put us on their official agenda. Once again, we’re an afterthought, a back-burner topic to be gotten to later. They’ll break bread with us in our gay ghettos but shy away from inviting us into their public, mainstream domains.

Both are willing to go on record as saying that they’ll support civil unions that extend full marriage benefits to committed same-sex partners – but neither commits that to writing on their official virtual calling cards to America. Guess it’s harder to call them on something we haven’t screen-saved for posterity later in the game. And this is after I’ve cut them considerable slack on this particular issue – something many of my GLBT brethren refuse – allowing them the political folly of stopping short of the marriage moniker if it makes equal spousal benefits a more attainable reality. I “get” political reality. I’m not an idealist like the kindly, well-intentioned Dennis Kucinich who did take a public stand for full marriage rights – name included – and now sits with Shirley MacLaine on a front porch somewhere in the New Mexico desert watching for UFO’s after his snowball’s-chance-in-hell bid for his party’s nomination. I “get” that I’m likely to be considered second-class in the eyes of many during my lifetime. After all, I’m here, I’m queer, and I’m used to it. Frankly, as long as my partner of nearly 20 years and my dogs consider me first-class, that’s all that really matters. I understand that – for better or worse – civil rights gains have historically come in increments, over generations. But, for heck’s sake, if I’m going to meet the politicos halfway, I don’t expect to have to do so in a back alley under the dark cloak of midnight.

And, make no mistake, it is a game, folks. We're all simply pawns on the proverbial chessboard. For all Obama’s rhetoric about change, all of Clinton’s discourse on uniting the country, it’s business as usual. Don’t delude yourselves. We’re being marginalized, relegated to “when I get to it” status. It’s disheartening because we’ve been here before. We fall into the same trap every damn time – so happy are we that someone in the political arena will even talk to us, about us. But we need to demand more primetime, less after-hours coverage for the issues that affect us. Otherwise, it’ll be more of the same sloppy seconds – the horribly misguided “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” debacle and the midnight weekend signing of DOMA come immediately to mind, lest we forget.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be someone’s secret, wink-wink friend. I want a candidate who will proudly and equally list me on their agenda, proudly post a position statement on GLBT rights on the website the rest of their constituency visits.

For the record, I’ve been a staunch Clinton supporter. I do put great trust in her experience and believe she has the know-how to navigate through the intricacies of the Washington machine. Worst case scenario, we’ll add some dignified fashion sense to a country under siege by rounded tummies spilling out of belly shirts. As Hannibal Lechter once said, “Oh, Senator...love your suit.” Barama, for all the hoopla, is a relative unknown, an unproven commodity in the system. While I believe his words have the power to influence and excite, I’m not certain he’s got the substance behind his oratory skills to back it all up. There’s much at stake here, coming off a horrific eight-year run with the Bushmonger. I’m still rooting for the candidate who I think has the ability to lead the country from day one.

Just don’t ask me to like it right now.

Your thoughts?

Super Tuesday...

It's Super Tuesday, and primaries are being held in many states across the nation. Do your part...get out and vote. You can't complain about the state of the union or affect the change you desire unless you're part of the process.